Living Abroad and Cultural Differences

People have made comments to me in reference to living abroad and traveling that seem to insinuate that it’s the greatest thing in the world and nothing but fun and games. The reason I travel is not that it’s super fun or carefree or makes me feel good all the time, though at times, those are ideas to describe it and I can find countless more colorful adjectives to describe the experiences I’ve had. I feel like I have lifetimes of beautiful memories, good times and interesting happenings to tell about from my travels. However, quite often traveling or living abroad is hard as hell, with trials and tribulations that come on a daily basis. Sometimes it is down-right uncomfortable, infuriating and impossible (Some days I just want to stay in bed, cry my eyes out and think about being home for the day!). That is one big fat lesson I’ve learned from all my years traveling and more recently, living abroad. It can be lonely, destitute and scary as hell. It challenges every single idea of what’s right and wrong, of who you are as a person and what you think you are meant to do in the world. But these are the things that make people grow and gain understanding of life, humanity and oneself on a completely different level than just staying in one place for an extended period of time/your whole life. That is why I do it—but also because stepping through my own fear is one of my life’s goals. Hence, the reason I haven't written in a while is that I have been a bit down and trying to adjust to this new environment.

That being said, cultural differences are so extreme sometimes that the reasons behind certain behavior can be a total mystery and totally unbelievable to a foreigner. Sometimes it can take days, weeks or months to figure out why people do what they do and say what they say. Sometimes it’s even hard to respect the difference because it is the exact opposite of what you were raised to believe is acceptable in your own culture! When I was in Tanzania and Mozambique, I came across probably the most extreme cultural differences that I have seen with my own eyes. There are many things I do not understand and will never understand. There are many things that I respect beyond belief and wish was part of my own culture, whatever that even is. Colombia as well has some extreme cultural differences that I am currently trying to figure out. Some of those differences have to do with manners, courtesy and privacy mostly. It’s hard to gage what’s rude or unacceptable socially, even after 3 months of being here. Here, what in the USA, we would call "flirting" is totally acceptable behavior and good manners, if you will. I ask, what then is "flirting" here? I am told, it's asking someone out or asking someone to do something intimate with you. Interesting...so where's the pre-relation dance that we so fondly call flirting in the USA? Why isn't there anything in between? When I spent time with the Maasai in Tanzania, we spent time mostly with the men because they seemed to be more free to do whatever they wanted in comparison to the women, who were busting ass, working all day. No sign of any western-style "flirting" of any kind was going on...they were just “nice” and super interested in us--extremely curious, but in a child-like way. It seemed that some had never had contact with any foreigners. I never was able to ask, how the Maasai flirt, but damn, would I love to know. Another example, in Bolivia, I noticed quickly that the indigenous people never "flirted", in the more western-style way that is, and not in comparison to the more hispanicized population. Fascinating...

There are many things I love about the culture here, like the multi-racial mix of people where many cultures have been incorporated into one mono-culture. However, it seems to have taken a modern turn and sometimes I see few signs of the indigenous cultures left over, unlike places like Bolivia. Much of the food is amazing and I’m super impressed by how many local foods people consume. I love the festive nature of the people here—it’s great! They are not afraid to celebrate into the night and next day, dancing and partying in the streets and renting huge farms for family and friends to come eat, drink and dance. They are also very proud of their culture and want to share it with you as a foreigner, which is very open and nice. They are also extremely affectionate, which I appreciate to a certain extent. Colombian people are extremely nice when they meet you, saying all kinds of nice things and complementing you, etc. I have also been snubbed right to my face, in what we could call, rude behavior, by mostly women, but also some men and truly wonder, why is this, when it seems to not be socially acceptable? Maybe because mean people are everywhere, regardless of country or culture. I think also I have been snubbed here because Colombia is a bit isolated from the rest of the world because of its internal problems as well as it being so difficult to get a visa to leave. I believe that people fear what they don't know and sometimes act irrationally. One thing I’ve noticed quite quickly concerns female-male relations here. Sexuality and sensuality are huge here and it plays into everyday, public life. For example, some women tend to constantly cater to the sexuality of men, even in environments that would to people in my culture, seem totally inappropriate, like work or school or a hospital, etc. I’ve seen right before my eyes, women putting on a kind of ritualistic show for the men in their company, but when the men leave, they turn it off as if flipping a switch to “off”. It’s blatant and almost humorous to see and I wonder if they even realize how quickly they turn it off when the men leave. I’ve also see this type of behavior quite exaggerated on TV programs or movies. The men respond to it obviously and all this goes on unabated regardless if the people are in relationships or are present with their partners or children or grandmothers or superiors, etc. I think in the USA, this is all more of a private thing that goes on more subtly or not as flamboyantly. In Sweden, it seems to barely go on at all in public, or maybe more in the way of how one dresses, or totally behind closed doors, or when one is completely intoxicated. I’m not sure what else to say about this.

Another interesting thing is privacy. Family here is the most important thing there is, which I love but am not used to, unfortunately. Families live together, like grown adults with parents, due to religious ideals, financial issues, convenience and because they want to! What I have noticed is that there is very little "privacy" among people living together--"privacy" referring to what I know from the USA and Sweden. People may not knock when they enter your room and just enter or try to help you with any random mundane task you need to perform (that one person could probably do more efficiently than two), instead of just letting you alone to do it on your own. From my limited experience here, many household chores are done in a group or family members try to help the others with everything that they are doing, all the time. This is quite different than from coming from a place where it is much more individualistic and people do things by themselves and are almost offended if someone tries to help them because maybe they think that that person is insulting their intelligence by helping them with something that they "don't need help with". Also, unmarried adults live with their parents normally, as happens in so many parts of the world. This is quite different as well and causes certain behavior that I consider to be quite bizarre at times. For example, for some people, it causes them to lack the experience needed to take care of themselves fully, like by being able to cook, clean, etc. Also, I am a firm believer in living with your partner before marrying them. It is a great way to find out who that person really is. Here, people may lack that type of experience, which can be quite valuable. But this doesn't necessarily mean anything, it's just my opinion. In the end, I do appreciate very much the family-support and togetherness people show here. It's commendable and people elsewhere should learn from this. In Tanzania and Mozambique, I saw a variant of this, but people there seem to accept all the members of their community as their own family and treat them as such. I'll never forget being in a bar with a friend in Zanzibar and watching a woman pass around her new-born infant to a different, random person every 20 minutes or so, then leaving for a while, coming back, then giving the baby to someone else to watch and leaving again. Believe she gave me her baby as well for a while as she went on whatever adventure it was that she was on. The baby never even cried. Unbelievable! Children there seemed to be the responsibility of everyone in the community, all the time. Totally and completely different to the USA or Sweden...if a stranger was trying to help someone's child in the USA, it would not be viewed as a great thing and sometimes even grounds to call the police! Sweden is hard to gage, my personal experience says that it’s even more extreme on the individualism-side of things.
I try to be as understanding as I possibly can be, living or traveling abroad. Sometimes it’s hard and sometimes it’s not. I have huge respect for other cultures and truly believe in my heart and soul that there is room for everyone in this world. I think it’s so sad how many cultures and languages disappear, and at what a fast rate globalization is turning many people in the world towards being part of a modern-day mono-culture. Sometimes, ideas and views of cultural differences are grounds for people to feel upset or offended. And though I feel quite uncomfortable posting this, I am posting it anyway. I toned it down the best way I could to try to give my view and opinion but not be too offensive to anyone…let me know what you think!

A Trip and Some Random Observations

Photo #1: Carlos at the University of Antioquia.

Photo #2: Small mural at the university.

Photo #3: At the University of Antioquia.

Photo #4: Medellín at about 6pm...

Photo #5: Llarumo tree with silver leaves.

Photo #6: Beautiful house in the countryside.

Photo #7: Carlos and his Mama at el Peñol.

Photo #8: Looking down from the top of el Peñol.

Photo #9: La chiva.

Photo #10: On top of el Peñol.

Photo #11: Carlos and I on top of La Piedra del Peñol.


So I have been quite busy here doing things: I have been at the library or at Carlos’ office everyday finishing my thesis, which is almost done! We get up at like 6ish am to leave by 7ish. I started driving Carlos’ car too…which gets quite wild at times. Instead of following general rules of the road, there is a whole other system here and you need to follow the rules of that or it’s over. So people drive pretty much however they want and some are totally crazy with the driving. But so be it. I have 3 English students now too, which is great—at least bringing some money in. I am also starting to look for employment at a private university that teaches English. My ultimate goal is to get a job at an NGO, but I fear that my Spanish is not good enough. But I have been considering just trying, because that’s how I’ll learn anyway. I will start looking around for the NGO job too then.

On Saturday, we drove up over the mountains that surround Medellín to the countryside. We went to a huge, black rock that sticks up awkwardly out of the ground about 220 meters, called La Piedra del Peñol. There are stairs to the top where there is an amazing view 360 degrees around. It’s stunningly beautiful! There is an artificial lake among the hills and farms. There are beautiful little farms all around, where they grow plantains, corn, spinach, fruits of all kinds, etc. The houses seem mostly traditional Colombian style. They are ranch-style homes, typically white with different colors painted on the frame of the house, windows and doors. Lots of flowers all around too…it’s so beautiful! There are plenty of stands on the side of the road selling fresh fruits, food and juices. The colors are just amazing. Also more in the countryside, there are these beautifully painted, traditional buses called chivas. They are very intricately painted all over and the top part is made from wood. Very nice. Coming back down the mountain back to the city, we could see the whole city. Almost getting to our neighborhood, I could get a good view of La Sierra, the neighborhood that was in the documentary film called: “La Sierra”. Check it out if you can. It’s about poverty, youth, power, and violence in one of the neighborhoods of Medellín.

Sunday was Carlos’ grandmother’s 97th birthday—the same woman who birthed 20 children (of whom 18 are alive)! So we went to Carlos’ aunt’s house where she lives for a party. Only half of her children where there with other people as well, so believe that it was a huge affair. People eat in rounds because the table is only so big: so one group eats, then the next, and so on. Two musicians with guitars came and played traditional Colombian music all day, while people where singing and dancing. It was fantastic. Carlos’ family has taken me in like I was one of their own too which I appreciate more than words can describe after my experience in Sweden. They are incredibly nice and very interested. I like them a whole lot and I feel like I have a special little relationship with La Abuela (the grandmother), or the Rock Star, as I call her. Colombian people are extremely affectionate too, which I really like considering I’m quite affectionate as well.

I need to make a correction on something I wrote before. The poor neighborhoods are not just located on the outskirts, but all over the city. There are different neighborhoods of different classes spread out over the whole huge city. But I will say, I’ve recently spent some time in the rich neighborhoods and they are extremely high class. Some parts look nicer than anything I’ve even seen in the USA. It’s crazy, sometimes I feel like I’m just walking down the street in some beautiful part of Miami…I never expected Medellín to be so well-off in certain parts. There are huge mansions in gated communities, expensive private schools, amazingly sparkly shopping centers with everything from amusement parks to fancy restaurants, brand-new expensive cars being driven around, etc. It’s impressive, but at the same time, I wonder where all this money came from. I wonder how much of that richness comes from this country’s biggest export: cocaine. There must be a lot of money-laundering going on here as well. A few days ago they busted a ship carrying 5 ½ tons of cocaine off the coast of Colombia!!! That is worth about US$500 million…but considering it will be cut probably more than once (which means mixed with another substance to get more out of the cocaine), it could easily be double that: US$1 billion—just from one boat’s worth. Imagine what has to be done to “legitimize” that money!?! That is beyond what I can even imagine and I’ve been thinking how many hands that cocaine would pass through to get to its final destination and also how many hands the return profit would have passed through to get to all the people who helped in its production. It’s fascinating to be in a place where the most important commodity is an illegal one and to see how it affects the society. Back to the drug addicts on the street: Carlos and I saw a 5-7 month pregnant woman, sitting on the sidewalk, smoking basuco (which again is the waste product of cocaine production—clearly worse than even crack-cocaine) in the middle of the night. That was hardcore! There are so many of these people and they look so wild and do so many crazy things, we started calling them the “basuco-zombies”. They are literally like walking zombies, with no rational goals except to get high at any cost. It’s extremely sad and I think people in general here are desensitized to it, just like they are to the incredibly thick and horrifically unhealthy air pollution. I have heard people say that the people addicted to drugs on the street “want” to be there. Coming from a recovering drug-addict, believe-you-me, they don’t “want” to be “basuco-zombies” living on the street, eating out of the trash, washing in the dirty river, completely alone and destitute. Who wants that shit? No one in their right mind! They’re doing it because they have severe drug addiction problems, as well as other problems like homelessness, mental health issues, being internally-displaced people (by the conflict), etc. I have seen some terrible things here—just a few examples are the pregnant woman smoking basuco, people sitting and eating directly out of a trash bag like it was a plate, people sleeping on the cement covered by plastic bags (or sleeping on the side of the highway in this tunnel that goes through the middle of the city where the pollution is suffocating), people sleeping and laying half-way out on the highway, people crying and asking for money so someone doesn’t come to kill them, kids passed out on the sidewalk in the middle of the city and covered in nasty dirt with barely any clothes on, etc. It is HARDCORE. People here need help—they need access to drug addiction rehabilitation services or detoxification centers, etc. Also, they have a section in the newspaper called: "Missing Parents". Fascinating. Please excuse my graphic-ness. More to come soon…

Security in Medellín

Photo #1: Medellín at night.

Photo #2: A homemade bomb going off in the distance.

Photo #3: From the subway station at the University of Antioquia.


I'm glad to have received a positive response so far...great! Well, for the first time since I arrived, I am sick to my stomach from some food I ate out...not too bad though. But it's typical. I have just received my first English students: two sweet little girls that speak quite well and are part of Carlos' massive family. Though it's not the dream job (NGO work), I like them and the pay is good and I have to do something until my Spanish improves (which it has been sslloowwllyy...).

I wanted to write about the security situation here. At any semi-important building or even shops or whole streets, there are private security guards at work. They regulate who comes in and out, etc. There are tons of police...it seems like on every corner. They stop traffic randomly to check what people are up to, etc. Sometimes, you can see groups of soldiers from the military (and I mean groups...10-20 soldiers) guarding areas, or buildings, and especially at night. For example, around their own military buildings, they shut down roads that are close by at night. They can be at events or just where the clubs are as well. Clearly they have weapons on their bodies. It's a bit freakish for me at times, but as of yet I still feel quite safe and have not seen anything too scary. At Carlos' university where he works, I have to register at the gate (everyone gets checked and searched) as a visitor and I also have to register my laptop (they usually check it when I leave). But once I'm in, they even check people at the library, which I don't like because every time I go in or out, I have to explain that I'm a visitor and explain what I am doing there. However, they do get quite lax at times and it makes me wonder what they're actually doing there.

Last Thursday, there was a conference at Carlos' university (University of Antioquia) about the American military bases that have been so controversial. Well it's more like the US wants to make use of Colombian military bases to help the country continue the fight on narcotics and "guerrillas". Plenty of people don't want American influence here, both locally and regionally (as I'm sure you can imagine). So after the conference, some students were protesting and started setting off homemade bombs on campus and in surrounding areas. At that point we left because it was getting loud and I am American and all (though I tell most people I'm Swedish to keep a low profile ;) ). The police started closing streets around the university. Come to find out later, they were keeping these bombs in one of the bathrooms at the university and while they were getting more out, one student got his arm blown off! I guess a few years ago, students were protesting and 2 or 3 were killed due to a similar type of accident. But the kicker is, the students involved are now getting charged for committing terrorist acts. Again, anything you say against the government here and you're immediately labeled as a "guerrilla" or "terrorist". Fuck that. There is tons of graffiti in the street against the "imperialist Americans". I've seen mostly ones that say: "No bases gringas" or "no bases imperialistas"...I personally think it's a bad idea as well. It just makes Colombia a bigger target for disgruntled neighbors. ;)

Carlos' nephew is in the military, doing his mandatory service and we are going to see him at his base on Saturday. ;) Should be interesting. Peace!

First weeks in Medellín, Colombia

¡Saludos de Colombia!
Welcome to my blog about living in Medellín, Colombia for this next year. I wanted to write one for Sweden and never did...which is quite unfortunate, so I figured starting fresh in Colombia warrants a blog.

I have been here since August 17, 2009. Things are going really well. Carlos and I received a huge welcome from his closest family members at the airport (like 10 people)...great people. He has an amazingly nice and open family that has taken me in as one of their own in no time at all. I like that a lot and it thankfully does not resemble my experience in Sweden even remotely. I haven't gotten sick being here either, which says a lot for me who gets sick going to any new country, even European ones...considering my superstitiousness, I take it as an excellent sign. Carlos' grandmother in the photo is 97 years old and birthed 20 children in her lifetime. She is a rockstar!!!

Medellín is a city of 2.5 million people that sits in a huge valley surrounded by incredibly green mountains. Many neighborhoods sit on the hills, and usually the farther away from the center you are, the poorer you are. When we were driving into the city the first night, it reminded me very much of La Paz, Bolivia (driving down into the city from El Alto). Many buildings are made from red brick and at night, the city twinkles from every hilltop. During the day, all the beautiful tropical plants, flowers and trees stand out intensely to a foreigner like me. Some of the houses are very traditional looking--very decorative. It's a beautiful city full of life. People live outside on the street: socializing, walking, etc...and it's extremely loud from the hustle and bustle. The buses are crazy and decorated with lights, fanfare and whatever else people find as lucky or fun. People are very polite and friendly and there certainly is a huge mix here! People of every color. But I do still stand out as a foreigner...also because there seem to be very few foreigners here. I think I have noticed/talked to 4 other foreigners in 4 weeks. We are very careful and I don't go out alone, yet. Not until I really get a hang of the language and how the city works, which is going ok. The center is quite wild...and Carlos always tells me to walk extremely fast. There is so much going on in the streets...it's incredible.

Yes, there is some urban warfare going on here thanks to the drug war...but it's not something you see on the street everyday. It's a regular city with tons of people living their everyday normal lives. But there is a war going on and it can be heard about through the grape vine, the media or heard off in the distance (so far, we've heard some gunshots in the distance late at night..but we are on hills and there is an echo). It seems to take place more in the poorer neighborhoods and lots of the gangs are fighting against each other for control after many leaders were arrested and extradited to the US a little while back. It seems like many very young people are involved...teenagers that is. Sorry but children with guns scares the shit out of me and to me, as well as children with babies. One day I saw a couple of girls, they were young teenagers (maybe 15-16???) with children (that were theirs) of 2-3 years old! That's hardcore. Also, there are tons of homeless people living on the streets and many of them are on hardcore drugs. Seems like they sniff glue or gasoline and also smoke something called "basuco"--the waste product of cocaine production. I've never seen people so f***ed up on drugs before in my life. Never. It's quite sad. They do it so openly right in the street too...for everyone to see. So, reality check, cocaine production in Colombia is clearly not only a problem of international smuggling and supply nor one of violence in Colombia but also one of domestic consumption. More about that later...besides that though I would say one of the biggest problems of this city is the air pollution. I have never seen such bad air pollution...and sometimes you literally choke on it, especially if you're in the center, which is also the bottom of the valley. It seems like if someone speaks out against the government here concerning social problems, you are quickly labeled a guerrilla or accused of being on the left. G** forbid. ;)

Anyways, I hope you guys will enjoy and learn from this. I will write more soon because lots to tell. Peace until then!